“Twas the Night Before Christmas” – Political Edition

THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS

‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all thro’ the House,
Only Pelosi was stirring,
With Liberals who grouse;

The Tax Bill was stacked, by lectern with care,
In hopes that a majority, soon would be there;
The Members were nestled, all snug in their space,
With visions of victory, delivered to the Base;

When out on the floor there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the desk, to see what was the matter.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a thin smiling man, with his team very near.

With a body so fit, he couldn’t be sleeker,
I knew in a moment, it must be the Speaker.
More rapid than lobbyists his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, Sanford! now, Meadows! now, Barton and Upton!
On Coffman! on Collins! on Jordan and Tipton!
To the Well of the House, to consider the tax!
Now cut away, cut away, with your congressional axe!”

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know there was nothing to dread.
They spoke not a word, to the vote they did swarm,
To give each American, the gift of reform.

With the vote now complete, and a majority sure,
Ryan stepped from the lectern, tax relief now secure.

To the White House the bill was quick to move,
For a POTUS who waited, anxious to approve.
“A gift to our people, a gift for our nation,
The law I will sign, will be our salvation.”

And I heard him exclaim, as he stepped out of sight —
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”

 

Clement Clark Moore (1837) Revised